I thought we were living in a country where this could not happen.
Hello, I am a mother of a son who was a transfer student to a well known university in the South. He was in school for 3 weeks when he met a girl in his class. After a couple of dates they had sex at his house where she spent the night. The next morning she invited him and his friend for breakfast at her house. They had drinks and she smoked pot.
After they left she decided she didn’t like the way his friend treated her and proceeded to threaten him with an accusation of rape if he did not implicate his friend in wrong doing. She then proceeded to accuse my son of drugging and raping her.
She spread this rumor throughout the university and my son was investigated by the local police and the university.
Luckily for us he had over 25 saved pages of text messages where she admitted to wanting to have sex and also admitted that this was her intention for the date. The police department did not pursue the case due to the evidence and the toxicology report showed no drugs in her system except for the marijuana that she had provided for herself. The university EOO investigated the case and found him not in violation of the university code of conduct.
We as a family spent many months in complete terror that this false accusation would ruin my sweet son’s life. It cost us over 15,000.00 in attorneys fees as we could not take the chance that our son would not be represented as we were not allowed to be present in the investigation.
Although he was found not guilty of these charges his reputation was ruined and to this day he can’t go out without someone threatening him and calling him a rapist. He did not have any real friends yet as he had only been there for a few weeks.
Since that time he is suffering from PTSD , anxiety and depression. He is self medicating with alcohol and he stays pretty isolated. Even though he didn’t do anything wrong and is the real victim, he is treated like the guilty one.
The system is set up to rally around her, the proposed victim. She had all the support and kindness from both the students and the faculty, especially in the first 4 months as the investigation was on going. It is criminal the way my son has been and still is being treated, as this person continues to perpetuate the lie under the guise of free speech.
We feel that she should not be able to continue these accusations when they have been investigated properly and have been determined to be false.
We were told that there is a non retaliation clause that prohibits the university from any action against her. I feel desperate to get my son out of there but he refuses to be run out as he did not do anything wrong.
He is a couple of semesters away from graduation but I am so very concerned for his well being as a part of his spirit has died and he has built a very dense wall around himself. It has taken a huge toll on him, his health, his well being and on the health and well being of his family.
I thought we were living in a country where this could not happen. That the false accusation would be met with swift action against the perpetrator. The accusation of rape is so heinous and such a soul stealing act that a false accusation should be illegal.
– Very worried mom
